Think You’re Having A Bad Day – Read this!

Think You’re Having A Bad Day – Read this!

I woke up with an excitement to a day full of promise. I had a blind date after work, The Daily Mail were due to feature one of my articles, and the guy I worked for part time in publishing was going to let me know whether he’d give me pay rise.

I wore my favourite suit, cream suede high heels but left the house without my keys.  It started to rain, so I stood under a doorway waiting for my cousin jaylengrace_MG_4412to turn up with a spare set because it wasn’t just the keys I’d forgotten but my travel card.  My hair was soaked, so I grabbed an umbrella and ran for the train. When I opened my shoulder bag, the cherry yoghurt pot had exploded so I spent the journey cleaning out the bag, and arrived at my destination covered in sticky goo.

To cheer myself up, I decided I’d have a caramel macciatto. I was already late but thought what was another five minutes?

A man in front of me was ordering at constipated snail pace, as though he was dragging each word up from his bowels‘- and – a skinny latte – decaff – low fat caramel – extra cream – and..’he searched the board looking for what else to add. By the time he’d decided on chocolate sprinkles, I wanted to kick him up the butt. I was still thinking about him when I got on the bus and leaned over to pick up a Metro someone had left behind.

The top of my coffee carton flipped off, at the precise moment the bus jolted, splurting the coffee into the lap of the woman opposite. Everyone’s shoes were splattered in froth. All I could do was apologise and offer to pay everyone’s dry cleaning bills.

‘My day seems to have got off on the wrong foot’ I said

‘Should be more careful’ the woman with coffee in her lap snapped.

‘Could at least have aimed it where it would do no damage’ the man next to me said.

‘I’m really, really sorry’ I babbled.

Everyone had their legs in the air because the coffee was running down the middle of the bus. I got off feeling like a leper – And left my mushroom quiche and umbrella on the seat.

‘What a morning it’s been’ I said to my boss gesturing to my ruined outfit.

‘And unfortunately I’ve got bad news’ he said

‘I’m not getting a pay rise?’

‘I have to let you go’

I felt a mess and looked it, I’d lost my job and the idea of going on a blind date didn’t thrill, but he was apparently good looking, and had a great sense of humour so I decided to go ahead to cheer myself up. Then Sue (the woman who set up the date) called.

‘He’s cancelled’

‘Why?’

‘He decided you’re too old’

I bought a copy of the Mail hoping that would lighten my mood. The headline was ’67 year old Tantra love guru recommends love potions for great sex’ I should have known they’d twist my words and make me look like an idiot!

I threw the paper in a bin, headed for the nearest pub and ordered a double whisky.

‘You look like you’ve been fighting in the wars, love’ the barman smiled.

‘Don’t ask! I said downing my drink in one.

 

Jaylen Grace also writes under her real name for adult content books.  She is the author of lovemaking manual Three Faces of Sex   www.stellaralfini.com  and can be found on Facebook and Twitter @stellaralfini.

 

 

Children’s author Diane Mae Robinson reviews Omzak The Space Cat Warrior

Another lovely fellow author Diane Mae Robinson has kindly reviewed Omzak The Space Cat Warrior for her blog – All About Children’s Books at http://www.dianemaerobinson.com/

Diane lives in Alberta, Canada in a small castle with a forest full of fantasy folk and writes The Pen Pieyu Adventures.

You can visit her site and the full review of the “fast paced intergalactic adventure” here on her site or below:

About the book:  Fast-paced, intergalactic animal adventure

Join Captain Omzak on this intergalactic adventure, in which he meets a little girl called Jodie and becomes Earth’s first feline martial arts coach. The race is on for Captain Omzak and his new found Earth cat friends to solve a catnapping mystery and defeat a sinister enemy lurking in the woods!

About the author: Jaylen Grace is a freelance writer, author and international Life Coach. She particularly enjoys coaching children. Whilst living in Athens, Jaylen opened the first ‘Life Coach Centre’ of its kind. For the past eight years Jaylen has been based in London. She still teaches but devotes most of her time to writing.

From the jacket flap: Hello. The name’s Omzak, Captain Omzak. There are two things you should know about me:
                            1. I’m THE best warrior on Planet Catopia and in the
                                whole universe.
                            2. I hate germs.
A while back I broke a peace treaty by getting in to a fight with a stinking, scumbag ape-like Varian who had dared to set foot in our territory. Now, I’m being punished. They’re sending me to England, Planet Earth. My mission? To blend in with those backward Earth cats, find myself a human so I can be their pet, and learn to be humble. And I just bet it’s going to be filthy down there.
Eew!

The smelly cat, Zorba
Illustrations by Almuth Scheller
What I thought: This is a very well written book with a unique story line about a warrior cat who is sent to Earth (as a punishment) to live as a regular cat. Omzak is a brilliantly created character, and the supporting characters are fun.  The important moral values of the story encompass: love, friendship, not judging other, courage, and the importance of believing in oneself. Omzak made me laugh as he got himself in and out of situations, some involving too many germs (his phobia). The author is an International Life Coach, who particularly enjoys working with children. This book reflects her passion for coaching and guiding children through life. Omzak is a definite must read for children and adults alike. It’s a great adventure book.

There are several incredible black & white illustrations, and some black & white with color illustrations that really enhance the reading experience.

Pasha
Illustrations by Almuth Scheller
 Visit the author’s website where you can join the Warrior Club. find a ‘Boogie Cat’ music download, and more fun things: www.omzak.co

Facebook: www.facebook.com/omzaks

Amazon: http://amzn.to/19tvEeR

Barnes & Noble: http://bit.ly/1af9fPB

Book Trailer: http://youtu.be/oLuu8VAZTgI

Jaylen Grace interviews fellow children’s author Jeff Botch

Jaylen Grace interviews fellow children’s author Jeff Botch

big feats coverJaylen Grace has recently had the tremendous fortune of spending a little more time with fellow children’s author and self-development advocate Jeff Botch, the following is an interview with Jeff which brings out some of his fantastic knowledge and talks about his brilliant books for children and their personal development.

 

Question – Well, unlike me, you’re an author who actually doesn’t say a lot about himself. That’s brilliant as far as I’m concerned because we can get down to some nitty gritty facts regarding your life and writing that I can’t see documented anywhere! As you know I’ve read Big Feats and gave it a 5 star review on Amazon because I genuinely believe this book should be used as a tool in children’s schools to further their development.  For those who haven’t read Big Feats and don’t know what I’m talking about however, would you like to tell us what the ASAP model formula you created for this book stands for….

 

Jeff’s answer:

Absolutely Jaylen!  But first I would like to thank you for this opportunity and let you know how much of a fan I am of you and the books that you write for kids.

ASAP is an acronym for four very important attributes.  These attributes are Attitude, Self-Development, Action and Persistence.

 

Questioncan you remember Jeff where and how this formula came to you?  Was it a slow process or did it just hit you between the eyes one day?

 

Jeff’s answer:

The model was created based on many years of my own personal development efforts.  I read lots of books and listened to many self-development and motivational tapes.  I eventually got to the point where I prioritized all the things I learned and determined that these 4 areas would assist me in achieving success.  After using the model in my own life for a prolonged amount of time I was confident that it could be used by everyone, including children to achieve success.  The acronym did hit me between the eyes one day when I was driving to work and reflecting upon the attributes.  It came to me and I was amazed how long it took considering I had already been using the steps.

 

Question – I know you’re in the process of writing two more books for children and that they will be based on the activities you do with your children.  Will these also be for 4 – 8 year olds, will they include your ASAP formula and will you be using the same two illustrators (Lisa and Rosemary) who did the excellent illustrations for Big Feats?

 

Jeff’s answer:

Yes, I do have a couple manuscripts that I have been working on and they will be ideal for children ages 4-8.  Big Feats is unique in that it is divided into four separate sections, each one addressing a step in the model.  The two manuscripts that I will eventually have published are more poetic and do not address the model.  Regarding the illustrations, I cannot imagine using anyone but Lisa Michaels and Rosemarie Gillen.

[Read more…]

Win a copy of Porridge with Tattooed Mummy and read the review!

Win a copy of Porridge with Tattooed Mummy and read the review!

PorridgeThe very lovely Naomi of the Tattooed Mummy blog kindly reviewed Porridge as an adult reader and alongside her teenage daughter. Here is the result and visit her blog right here for a chance to WIN a copy of funny children’s book Porridge the Two Faced Parrot.

The Review:

“I was recently sent a copy of a children’s book to review. I worried that it would be too ‘young’ for my DD who is 14, but it turned out she found it both engrossing and hilarious.So much so that she blogged a review on her own blog here.

I’m not sure what age group the book is aimed at but as the author dedicates the book to ‘all kids’ I’m going to suggest if your child understands the word ‘fart’ they are the right age.

Did I mention it’s a bit rude? Not the sort of rude an adult minds but just the sort of rude to have small people sniggering in minutes.

The story begins as we meet a deaf granny, a school teacher, a small boy and a rehomed parrot. Farce style misunderstandings abound in the first few chapters and continue through out the book, as Porridge (the parrot) is a suspiciously good mimic of voices and has the knack of saying just the wrong thing at just the wrong time. But Porridge has some other, unforeseen skills…

Both DD and I were pleased the book has a really feel good ending.

A fun bedtime story in chapters for younger kids, or a short read for older kids. Great stocking filler or small gift.”

Many many thanks to Naomi!

DD reviews Porridge!

DD reviews Porridge!

Porridge

DD’s Universe or @TheDDofTM on Twitter has kindly reviewed Porridge the Two Faced Parrot – here are her thoughts as an older/teen reader:

Porridge the two faced parrot.

 Porridge the two faced parrot is an excellent read for all children. The comical story of a young boy and a rather naughty parrot is the perfect short read. Though there is some bad language (farty bum) this book is endearing, funny and enjoyable. It takes you on voyage from confusion, disaster and just to plain silliness.

Summary of the book.

Alfie is just an ordinary school with lots of friends and a perfect family. That is until the arrival of porridge the parrot. How can a parrot cause ……. A black eye, his mum telling him off for lying, a teacher that has it in for him and worst of all having to break dance in the talent show when he can’t even dance. But will he conquer his fears and perform, will his eye still be like a plum. But more to the point, what havoc will porridge wreak this time?

Thank you so much DD!
Porridge hits #10 on the Amazon download chart and get’s great reviews!

Porridge hits #10 on the Amazon download chart and get’s great reviews!

Firstly thank you to everyone who participated in and helped to promote the free kindle copy of Porridge the Two Faced Parrot which was available this weekend. Also thank you to those who downloaded and are now enjoying!

Porridge now has his first review on Amazon

“This is a fun short story for children from about age..actually any age, obviously you’d have to read it to small ones but older kids would love this too. My 14 year old was hooked from start to finish (with many a muffled snigger). The parrot is likeable, mischievous, with just the right amount of pathos and humour. There is enough rudeness in the book for children to laugh at too, but not too much. Really a cute fun story. With a nice ending. Well worth a read” TM, 

Porridge Bio