Think You’re Having A Bad Day – Read this!

Think You’re Having A Bad Day – Read this!

I woke up with an excitement to a day full of promise. I had a blind date after work, The Daily Mail were due to feature one of my articles, and the guy I worked for part time in publishing was going to let me know whether he’d give me pay rise.

I wore my favourite suit, cream suede high heels but left the house without my keys.  It started to rain, so I stood under a doorway waiting for my cousin jaylengrace_MG_4412to turn up with a spare set because it wasn’t just the keys I’d forgotten but my travel card.  My hair was soaked, so I grabbed an umbrella and ran for the train. When I opened my shoulder bag, the cherry yoghurt pot had exploded so I spent the journey cleaning out the bag, and arrived at my destination covered in sticky goo.

To cheer myself up, I decided I’d have a caramel macciatto. I was already late but thought what was another five minutes?

A man in front of me was ordering at constipated snail pace, as though he was dragging each word up from his bowels‘- and – a skinny latte – decaff – low fat caramel – extra cream – and..’he searched the board looking for what else to add. By the time he’d decided on chocolate sprinkles, I wanted to kick him up the butt. I was still thinking about him when I got on the bus and leaned over to pick up a Metro someone had left behind.

The top of my coffee carton flipped off, at the precise moment the bus jolted, splurting the coffee into the lap of the woman opposite. Everyone’s shoes were splattered in froth. All I could do was apologise and offer to pay everyone’s dry cleaning bills.

‘My day seems to have got off on the wrong foot’ I said

‘Should be more careful’ the woman with coffee in her lap snapped.

‘Could at least have aimed it where it would do no damage’ the man next to me said.

‘I’m really, really sorry’ I babbled.

Everyone had their legs in the air because the coffee was running down the middle of the bus. I got off feeling like a leper – And left my mushroom quiche and umbrella on the seat.

‘What a morning it’s been’ I said to my boss gesturing to my ruined outfit.

‘And unfortunately I’ve got bad news’ he said

‘I’m not getting a pay rise?’

‘I have to let you go’

I felt a mess and looked it, I’d lost my job and the idea of going on a blind date didn’t thrill, but he was apparently good looking, and had a great sense of humour so I decided to go ahead to cheer myself up. Then Sue (the woman who set up the date) called.

‘He’s cancelled’

‘Why?’

‘He decided you’re too old’

I bought a copy of the Mail hoping that would lighten my mood. The headline was ’67 year old Tantra love guru recommends love potions for great sex’ I should have known they’d twist my words and make me look like an idiot!

I threw the paper in a bin, headed for the nearest pub and ordered a double whisky.

‘You look like you’ve been fighting in the wars, love’ the barman smiled.

‘Don’t ask! I said downing my drink in one.

 

Jaylen Grace also writes under her real name for adult content books.  She is the author of lovemaking manual Three Faces of Sex   www.stellaralfini.com  and can be found on Facebook and Twitter @stellaralfini.

 

 

My life as a rat

My life as a rat

 

Since I joined the rank of rats, I’m much more relaxed.

 

It came about after reading a book called ‘Who Stole My Cheese’ by Spencer Johnson.  He pointed out the difference between rats and humans was that when rats discovered something wasn’t working they tried something else and didn’t give up.  When humans found something wasn’t working, they looked for something or someone to blame.

Numerous times in my human condition I rammed myself at a wall, determined to break it down if it killed me.  These days I take a softer approach. If I’m passionate about something I don’t give up but I don’t make myself ill over it.  I think about the man who decided to eat an aeroplane to prove it could be done and chopped it into bits until he’d achieved it.

I no longer feel I’ve failed because I haven’t found the key to fit the lock.  I think of Thomas Edison.  After his 700th attempt to create the electric light bulb, he was approached by a journalist of the New York Times.

So how does it feel to have failed so many timesKeep-your-chin-up.-No-one-expected-you-to-save-the-world-otherwise-you-would-have-been-born-wearing-a-cape-and-tights.-Just-do-the-best-you-can?’ he was asked.

Eddison replied ‘I haven’t failed once. I’ve just proved those 700 ways don’t work.’

Now, when I find myself writing the same chapter umpteen times (and throwing it in the trash), I tell myself each attempt is bringing me closer to the final version.

I’ve stopped banging my head against the wall in desperation. I’ve stopped blaming myself when I can’t get a handle on something. I’ve stopped blaming others when things go awry.  As a rat, I get on with life without analysing the ‘becauses’.  This I was helped with by my teacher in India.  When I asked him why something I’d strived for so hard had crumbled to ash, he said ‘Because’.

‘Because of what?’ I asked.

‘Who knows,’ he said. ‘Don’t waste your life dwelling on it. Move on.’

So I took his advice.  I know I can’t win them all but walls no longer thwart me.

Rats always find a way round without stressing out when they can’t get through – and with practice, I’m slowly getting the hang of it.

 

 

Jaylen Grace is the author of Omzak The Space Cat Warrior, Porridge The Two Faced Parrot and Omtopia (The 7 steps to enlightenment).  She also writes under her own name (Stella Ralfini) for adult content books  ie lovemaking manual Three Faces of Sex           @jaylengrace   @stellaralfini

How to Live without regret.

How to Live without regret.

The Past, Behind YouYou can carry your pain like a cut, or put a plaster on it and get on with life.

Put an end to pain. What’s the use of carrying regret into tomorrow? We can all look back and think ‘I must have been mad to be in that relationship!’ or ‘I must have been crazy to marry that person!’

I used to beat myself up about some of the foolish things I brought into my life. I used to ask – Why did I do that? Why did I make such a poor decision?  In the end I shrugged such negative thoughts off. I understood they were part of my growing process and that my choices were based on what was going on in my head and what I thought I needed at the time.

My biggest learning curve came when I was able to differentiate between ‘need and want.’  This means we should bring more awareness to our state of mind when sending our messages out into the universe – because we do so often get what we ask for.  If our ‘need’ is to find a wealthy partner is strong enough, chances are one will pop out of the woodwork, but such relationships often come with a price tag. For example, our lover might have the material riches we sought but leave us with empty hearts because money is all they can offer.

Know what your heart and soul wants. Don’t give into insecurity. Don’t go for glossy, go for depth. And whatever you do, don’t listen to the mind because what it thinks it wants today is no guarantee it will want the same tomorrow. However, should you listen to it, and it turns into another learning curve, don’t curse it, or wallow in regret. We are constantly evolving so don’t kick yourself for what you chose in the past. That was the level of your ‘being.’ Now your being is wiser.

A teacher once said to me ‘It’s OK to make a new mistake every day but only a foolish person makes the same mistake twice.’  I like that because there is so much freedom in the statement and it is also very wise.

Next time you find yourself on the same merry go round, laugh at your foolishness.

Say ‘Well, that’s definitely not something I want. What a lucky escape!’

Why regret? Life’s too short. Especially with so many merry go rounds still to ride.

Jaylen Grace is the author of Omtopia (The seven steps to enlightenment), Omzak The Space Cat Warrior and Porridge Two Faced Parrot.  www.jaylengrace.com