Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like a failure

Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like a failure

Did you know that a recent study revealed that on average parents criticise their children 8 times for every one time they were praised? Did you know that research has shown that by the age of 14, 93% of children have a negative self-image because of their parent’s anxiety they won’t do well in life? No wonder so many adults prefer to live life half-asleep when they’ve been made to feel such failures as children!

 

In my work, I deal with loads of adults who have a negative self-image. They really believe that they are nothing special and say things like ‘Who am I to be brilliant, talented and successful’.  My reply is, ‘WHO ARE YOU NOT TO BE? You are a child of the universe. Get back in touch with your power. Playing small doesn’t help you or anyone’.

 The thing that holds most people back is their fear of failure but I believe that feeling we’re a failure or success is a matter of whether our attitude is negative or positive. Many things have turned prickly in my life but I’ve got so used to sucking lemons, any bitterness is soon swallowed as I dust myself off to face my next learning curve.

I also find strength from men like Thomas Edison – the man who invented the electric light bulb. After his 700th unsuccessful attempt to invent it he was asked by a journalist of the New York Times – so how does it feel to have failed 700 times? Edison replied ‘I haven’t failed once. I have succeeding in finding 700 ways that don’t work and when I’ve picked out the remaining ways that aren’t right, I’ll eventually arrive at the winning one’.

Now there was a man who certainly was not half asleep…

 I know that when you feel stuck, the thought of trying something for the twentieth time is far from easy – However, you could hit the jackpot with just that one more  push so don’t waste too much time pondering on whether to go ahead. As Henry Ford said ‘You can’t build a reputation on what you’re going to do. You’ve got to fantasize, rehearse and go out into the world and DO IT’.

 It is a fact we can get the mind to believe Health-Quotes-10images (1)anything to either spur us on or stab us in the back. The famous psychologist Abraham Maslow, told this story about how our belief systems can literally kill us off. A client believed he was dead. He’d had a heart attack and survived but couldn’t accept his survival as the truth. The psychologist tried everything to convince him but nothing worked so one day he said to the client. ‘Tell me something, do you believe corpses bleed?’ 

‘Of course not!’ huffed the client, ‘when someone dies all their organs stop functioning so blood can no longer be pumped through the system’

‘Ok,’ said the psychologist, ‘I’ll prick your thumb with this needle and we’ll see what happens.’  He pricked the thumb. Blood spurted out.

‘My God’, gasped the client. ’Who would have believed it. Corpses bleed after all!

Funny story but it illustrates the power our minds can have over us.

So back to our goals and whether we’re living life fully awake or half asleep.  I truly believe the world is our oyster and our common mistake as human beings is wanting to see our goals take flight overnight. And talking about flight, here’s a story about a man who decided some years ago that he was going to eat an aeroplane. He cut the aeroplane into bits and ate some every day. It took him twenty months but he succeeded in proving it could be done (some folk have weird goals lol…)

 But what if you choose a goal and four years later you’ve only moved two squares? Well, in his best selling business book ‘Who Moved My Cheese’ (totally recommend it), Spencer Johnson points out this difference between rats and humans… When rats discover something they’re doing isn’t working, they try something new and don’t give up.  When we humans find something isn’t working, we look for someone to blame.

 So – let’s put on our rubber gloves and working boots and even if we have to build our dream brick by brick, let’s not give up until we see the reality of our efforts smiling back…To live life fully awake is a matter of training the mind to believe it has winner potential so let’s choose a winner’s attitude every day.

 Jaylen Grace is the author of Omtopia (The 7 steps to enlightenment), Omzak the Space Cat Warrior and award winning Porridge The Two Faced Parrot.

www. jaylengrace.com  @jaylengrace   @omzakcatwarrior

Are you grieving for someone you lost?

 

 

A woman lost her young son in a tragic accident and was utterly distraught.  For weeks she cried and cried. and the sound of her heart torn sobbing, could be heard throughout the town.

Neighbours came, offering words of solace, but she could not be shaken from her grief, and one day, at the point of taking her own life, she was told about a wise man who lived in the next city. A man who could perhaps answer the question as to why her young son had been taken from her.  So the distraught woman went off in search of him and having found his house, knocked at the door.

  He looked a very kindly man, so she told him her story and posed her question. ‘Why me, why my son?’29404_425835237478048_749618179_n

 The wise man stroked his beard, went inside and returned with an empty glass jar, which he gave to the woman. ‘Go to every house in the city and ask anyone who’s never known tragedy in their family, to put a mustard seed in here’ he said.

 Thus the woman went off, knocking at door after door and talking to the people who came out until the sun started to go down.  It was a beautiful sunset, so she sat watching it for a while. Then she went back to the wise man’s house.

 ‘I understand now, thank you’ she said, handing back the jar.

 The wise man held the glass jar up to the light. It was just as he’d thought…Completely empty.

 

Another excerpt from Omtopia (The seven steps to enlightenment) by Reiki master  Jaylen Grace.

www.jaylen.grace.com   @jaylengrace

Are You In Charge? Are You Your Best Friend?

Are You In Charge? Are You Your Best Friend?

PositivityImagine if, for one day a week you made up your mind to have an ʽAm I doing my bestʼ day, and your whole focus was on lifting your energy vibration?  You could start by repeating:

 ʽToday I choose to attract a positive energy field. I choose to let othersʼ negative energy bounce off me. I choose to consciously do my best to lift my vibrationʼ.

 

You could follow this by smiling at yourself in the mirror and telling your reflection how brilliant you are at handling challenges and that whatever does come along youʼll handle with ease.

 

On your ‘Am I doing my best day’, you would invest 100% of yourself into staying positive whether at work or home, and would consciously refrain from allowing negative words to escape your lips.

 

You would listen to your family without criticising (even if you had to bite your tongue) and you wouldnʼt just listen, youʼd really try to understand the other personʼs point of view. If you couldnʼt, youʼd exhale it out of your system and refuse to make an issue of it so that you had time to ponder it, then respond in a positive way.

 

Maybe on your ʽAm I doing my best dayʼ you’d de-clutter your home to make space for your energy field to expand.  Make that phone call to say sorry. Ask for a promotion that’s overdue. For that one day a week you’d leave your negative thoughts aside, refuse to allow negative words to leave your lips, and keep a positive perspective whatever happened.

Even if someone stole your parking space. Even if your boss was irritating the hell out of you. Even if it was raining slugs.

 

On that day of the week, youʼd act with the courage of a lion. You wouldnʼt just think about calling up the man/woman you met last week to tell them youʼd like to see them again. You would actually call and ask. Even if theyʼre not interested. So what! You tried your best. Next bus.

 

On that day youʼd be ready with extra hugs and loving words for everyone.  Even your son who refuses to study. Even your mother who could try the patience of a saint. Youʼd be aware of that old lady who needed help crossing the road. You would take time to notice the beauty in nature.

 

Throughout the day you would consciously take time to check what was happening in your world of thoughts, and if your mind had wandered off somewhere that wasnʼt in your interests, youʼd be there to gently guide it back.

 

You would remember things youʼre grateful for and breathe this vibration into the air to stay attached to the universeʼs positive energy field.

 

Can you imagine the difference it would make to your energy vibration, if you made a conscious effort to do your best once a week?          

It’s my ‘Am I Doing My Best Day’ tomorrow – when’s yours?

 

This is an excerpt from Omtopia *The Seven Steps to Enlightenment  by Jaylen Grace.

www.jaylengrace.com

 

How to Live without regret.

How to Live without regret.

The Past, Behind YouYou can carry your pain like a cut, or put a plaster on it and get on with life.

Put an end to pain. What’s the use of carrying regret into tomorrow? We can all look back and think ‘I must have been mad to be in that relationship!’ or ‘I must have been crazy to marry that person!’

I used to beat myself up about some of the foolish things I brought into my life. I used to ask – Why did I do that? Why did I make such a poor decision?  In the end I shrugged such negative thoughts off. I understood they were part of my growing process and that my choices were based on what was going on in my head and what I thought I needed at the time.

My biggest learning curve came when I was able to differentiate between ‘need and want.’  This means we should bring more awareness to our state of mind when sending our messages out into the universe – because we do so often get what we ask for.  If our ‘need’ is to find a wealthy partner is strong enough, chances are one will pop out of the woodwork, but such relationships often come with a price tag. For example, our lover might have the material riches we sought but leave us with empty hearts because money is all they can offer.

Know what your heart and soul wants. Don’t give into insecurity. Don’t go for glossy, go for depth. And whatever you do, don’t listen to the mind because what it thinks it wants today is no guarantee it will want the same tomorrow. However, should you listen to it, and it turns into another learning curve, don’t curse it, or wallow in regret. We are constantly evolving so don’t kick yourself for what you chose in the past. That was the level of your ‘being.’ Now your being is wiser.

A teacher once said to me ‘It’s OK to make a new mistake every day but only a foolish person makes the same mistake twice.’  I like that because there is so much freedom in the statement and it is also very wise.

Next time you find yourself on the same merry go round, laugh at your foolishness.

Say ‘Well, that’s definitely not something I want. What a lucky escape!’

Why regret? Life’s too short. Especially with so many merry go rounds still to ride.

Jaylen Grace is the author of Omtopia (The seven steps to enlightenment), Omzak The Space Cat Warrior and Porridge Two Faced Parrot.  www.jaylengrace.com

Parenting Blogger Pink Oddy reviews Omzak The Space Cat Warrior

Parenting Blogger Pink Oddy reviews Omzak The Space Cat Warrior

Pink Oddy kindly reviewed and blogged about Omzak The Space Cat Warrior recently, thank you Pink Oddy!

Although initially planning to share with her children she got stuck in herself to Omzak’s story of a space warrior sent to earth and talks about the “valuable lessons” and educational factor of Omzak, written by life coach Jaylen Grace.

Like many of Omzak’s readers Pink Oddy felt it was a book that both children and adults alike could enjoy and relate to.

 

Omzak The Space Cat Warrior

 

Read the full review here, and or find out more about children’s book Omzak, The Space Cat Warrior.

Reiki, healing – and keeping it real!

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I’ve been involved with spirituality and healing for a long time, and whilst I favour Indian attire when I lecture, those who bump into me in the street are possibly surprised to see a woman in her sixties, strutting her stuff in high heels and lipstick.

When I did my Reiki training in Tokyo 30 years ago, my intention wasn’t to become a Reiki teacher. What drew me to it was that a healing method existed that enabled us to not only to heal others by the laying on of hands but could be used to heal ourselves. This proved the case when I was cured of excruciating sciatica. However, I also saw it as a personal development tool and used the teachings to further my spiritual journey in many ways.

It was only when I opened my first holistic centre in Athens in 1988, that I started offering Reiki healing to those who asked. Later, I took it that step further and taught.

When necessary, to promote my courses, I have had used the words ‘Master Reiki’ because that is what students want to hear. This is fair enough because if you were going to see a psychologist you’d look for someone with a qualification in this field. My question to you is this – Have you noticed how some teachers change – and not for the better – when they are given the title ‘Master Reiki?’ Surely, being able to channel universal energy is something that should bring a measure of humility with it – Yet I’ve met people who when they say the words act as though they are expecting applause. Worse still are those who look at you mystically nodding their heads as though they can see into your soul. Those who can, would never make this obvious because they aren’t trying to impress anyone and have brought all their ‘titles’ into one glorious melting pot.

A wonderful exercise (which took me years to master before I could bring my mind to the space where illusion ends) is to say everything about who you are and what you are feeling in the same tone without attachment to the statement: ‘I am a mother… I am a sister…I am broke… I am a son…I am a lover…I am alone… I am an IT consultant…I am a healer…

When we arrive at the point of loving ourselves regardless of title, we are free of the need for others to look up to us.  I, for example, can happily write a blog about farting one day (I just wrote one!), and karma the next. Some ‘Masters’ may find this odd, but I see no reason to defend myself because I’m not trying to ‘be’ anything. I am being – myself, I approve of myself, and that’s all the approval I need.

Whilst Top Of The Lake was, in my opinion, an excellent series, that ‘GJ’ wasn’t the kind of spiritual teacher I would have chosen to follow. Of course she was a fictional character and Holly Hunter is a great actress, but real life teachers who talk in riddles – unless they happen to be Krishnamurti or Sankara – usually prove they have no idea who the heck they are!  In my book Omtopia (The seven steps to enlightenment), this subject is covered in the third eye chapter. It explains how some teachers become entrapped by the illusion they are a cut above the rest and come up with ridiculous theories to find fame or make money from the vulnerable.  An example of this took place in Athens some 15 years ago.  A man who called himself a Reiki Master, had written a book saying that he could spirit away bad karma from past lives. Women queued up to see him. I was told the therapy consisted of him passing the bad karma to his assistant, who took it to the window and threw it out.  He was thrown out of the country when someone went to the police and told them a black magician had passed on someone else’s bad karma to her and she’d gone nuts! In a way it’s laughable – but you and I know that ‘teacher’ wouldn’t get away with cheating people in the way he did for long, because the Law of Cause and Effect is always at work.

It is a known fact that ‘Flaky’ teachers gather flaky students. A classic moment in Top Of The Lake, was when GJ packed her bags to get away from ‘the crazy b-tches’ who’d surrounded her.  It was total brilliance and summed up where I believed the writer(s) would take the story.

If I have learned one thing in this life it’s to ‘keep it real’ so that others don’t build up false illusions as to who we are. Once, after a talk I’d given, a woman came over, kissed my hand and told me she was in awe of me.

I said: ‘Please don’t put me on a pedestal because chances are, you’ll see me fall off one in a bar some day and I wouldn’t want to disappoint you.’

Stay blessed. Namaste